I drunk a bottle of FireBall once. Easily in my top ten biggest regrets. Have you ever felt like someone ripped your chest open and just poured hot lava all over your heart while you’re trying to sleep? Vanilla extract is 35% alcohol by volume. Fireball is only 33% alcohol by volume. My grandmas first drink of fireball!!! This woman has never been drunk in her life!!! She has never even drank!!! We get her to take a sip maybe once every 10 years!!! That’s to funny, the doctor told me to take that for a nagging cough. I still can’t stop laughing. Have a nice day with this I can’t walk on water but i can stagger on fireball shirt.
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President Uhuru Kenyatta recently ordered National Transport and Safety Authority (NTSA) officers from our roads and directed traffic police to take charge.This came after a series of fatal road accidents hit the country.But whether this will halt the madness on our roads remains to be seen. Part of the problem lies in the fact that NTSA is dealing with systemic rot in our society. They have no powers to arrest and must be accompanied by uniformed police officers to make arrests. The arrested person is then processed to appear in court.
But that is the easy part. Police officers assigned to work with NTSA bribed their bosses to get those positions. An officer I spoke to told me it will set you back to the tune of Sh200,000 to Sh300,000 to get this coveted job. Your family will sell land and cows to get you that job, and when you get there, the money must be recovered quickly. And so, when these police officers teamed up with equally hungry, young NTSA employees, the roads became a hawker’s market where 20 drivers are arrested but only five appear in court.
Stagger on fireball
Meanwhile, our roads are packed with incompetent drivers, some drunk or high on prohibited substances, who can barely hoot, leave alone change lanes, overtake or indicate. It is not surprising that the biggest casualties on our roads are pedestrians, partly due to the way our roads are designed. Our road engineers are constructing roads exclusively for drivers, a good example being Outering Road, which is undergoing an upgrade at a cost of Sh12.58 billion. The road has no pedestrian walks, cycling paths or footbridges. Yet the same engineers are supervising the expansion of Ngong Road, which has taken into consideration pedestrians and cyclists.
You wonder how one side of town gets pedestrian walks and cycling lanes, whereas another side (that has a much higher population of people who walk) doesn’t have any. And it doesn’t help that many Kenyans don’t know or wouldn’t be bothered to cross a road properly. I can’t walk on water but i can stagger on fireball shirt. Nonetheless, we can still save lives if government stops designing killer roads and NTSA becomes a strong regulator, as was envisioned when it was set up, so that it can deal firmly with criminal drivers. Repeat traffic offenders should pay higher insurance premiums and if they keep making roads unsafe, banned for life from driving.