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I wanna craw into a big hole n never come out… I snapped earlier on anyone n everyone and im so sorry!!! For doing that to everyone. But i forgot my sorry isn’t good enough which makes me feel even more fucked up about myself.!.!.! “Damn” and the tears jus keep coming down my face its like a river of tears… Ima cry myself to sleep im sorry again “facebook” i know y’all dont wanna hear me “cry around” most would say but i jus had to.! Life is rough but you have to move on, you can not change what happened. So you need not to be crying and go on because you can’t go backwards.
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Ogie said; “Husband and wife must focus on loving and honouring God in their married life. If they focus on pleasing God, they would be more concern on how God feels rather than what they feel. They will be concern in pleasing God rather than pleasing their personal and selfish desires. God is not pleased when you are in pride and continue on hurting one another. The more you are focused on pleasing God, the easier for you to be humble, so that you may learn how to die to your own feelings and learn how to forgive.”
When I reflected on what he said; it made a lot of sense. First; God is pleased when we are HUMBLE. God gives grace to the HUMBLE & oppose the PROUD. Second; God gave us the true definition of love as a guide found in (1 Cor. 13:4-7) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
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If you notice this is entirely the opposite of the feeling of PRIDE. If you have pride you get easily envious; you are proud that you are right and your spouse is wrong. It dishonors your partner because you want to humiliate them to prove something. It is self-seeking because you are more concern about your feelings. It is easily angered because you are fed up with the situation. You become historian because you always remind your spouse the past mistakes . Did you notice the difference? I thank God for He has given my wife and me the grace of HUMILITY. One final story before I end this blog.
I can remember one time my wife asked me something, and caught me at a very bad time. I snapped. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I can remember I replied with major tone and sarcasm. Her happy face turned sad; her beautiful face transformed into a monster. The voice of PRIDE kicked in; “She deserved it; she was insensitive about the timing, and is pressuring you. Take your stand and let her be.” The voice of HUMILITY then whispered, “Oh ooh! hurting your wife’s feeling is a big mistake; you’re doing it likewise to God. You dishonored her and also God. Go and apologize. Humble yourself, admit that you have done wrong, and beg for forgiveness.”